Tasteful Revenge
by Cadaverous Apples
Summary: -"What in Merlin's name were you three doing!" "Promoting inter-house unity, Professor." "Yes, thank you, Miss Weasley, we can all see that. And how exactly did this lead to Mr. Malfoy's and Mr. Zabini's tongues being down your throat?" Oneshot. DGB smut.


Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Tasteful Revenge

* * *

"I'm tired of it, Ginny!" Ron yelled at me as I stormed off towards the Great Hall.

"Tired of what? Of listening to Lavender and Parvati, gossip whores of Gryffindor?" This earned me two glares from the shallow twits, assembled along with the rest of the school to see one of the infamous Weasley battles.

"You're one to talk about whores! You should hear what they say about you!" I spun around, sneering at him. I was getting tired of this. Sure, I did get a lot of action, but Ron needed to get the fuck off my back and let me live my life.

"Hear what they say? Oh, I don't need to do that. I know exactly what they say, considering that I've done it all multiple bloody times!" He flushed an ugly shade of magenta, his hand tightening on his wand. The gathered masses seemed to suck in their breath, holding it in and waiting to see if the verbal spar would actually turn into a duel.

Close as we were to the Hall, most of its inhabitants could probably hear us. As it was, some of the crowd was already giving up on the fight, slipping into the Hall for dinner.

"Ginny! Don't say things like that!" Oddly, it was the scandalized voice of the Boy Who Did Not Know How to Snog that reprimanded me when Ron couldn't.

"Please. I can say whatever I want," I said in a dismissive tone, turning back around. "Now, I want to go eat dinner in peace."

"Ginny!" Ron said, spinning me around before I could reach the door. "You don't want me to owl mum, do you?" I scowled dangerously at his mention of blackmail.

"And you don't want me to tell mum about your oral fixation, do you?" I countered smoothly, referring to the time that I had walked in on him and Hermione in a rather mind-searing numerical position. Ron seemed to turn an even darker shade, if that was possible, while Hermione beside him flushed.

"Ginny," he hissed, "don't make this messy. I know you've gone through the whole castle—except for Slytherin. And I'll have you know that if you so much as look at one of those snaky bastards, I'll make sure you're disowned." I was beyond shocked as I narrowed my eyes at him dangerously.

Sure, I knew I hadn't been exactly chaste following Harry's break-up with me the year before. Well…that was putting it lightly. I still fondly remembered Seamus as being my first, followed by Dean as my second, Colin as my third (before he'd decided he was gay, of course), Terry Boot as my fourth, and so on and so forth. Among the ones I hadn't gotten to were Neville, who came out of the closet shortly after Colin did and were now living a life of casual gay shagging, and the Slytherins.

I really only stayed away from the Slytherins for two reasons. The first: Draco Malfoy. The second: Blaise Zabini. They were the two most desirable and dark boys in Hogwarts—and they were both too busy shagging each other to notice how I slowly and methodically made my way through the boys of Hogwarts but avoided any Slytherins at all costs. It seemed almost a disservice to them. If I couldn't have either of them, I didn't deserve to have anyone else from their house.

It did kind of seem as if I was a trashy slag whose only purpose was to lay all of Hogwarts. But that wasn't all I did. I was the top student in my class. Plus, I didn't _always _shag the boy. Sure I'd snog him, but only if he was a good enough snog did I allow him to actually shag me.

Not that it lessened the fact that I had a _lot _of experience.

But when Ron explicitly forbade me from going for a Slytherin…well.

"You can't stop me from doing anything," I snapped at him, jerking my arm angrily from his grasp. "And if you think that you can hold disowning over me—"

"I won't have my sister turning more into a whore than she already is!" he yelled loudly, cutting me off and causing the whole hall to go silent. Furious, I raised my left hand, the one not holding a wand, and delivered a stinging slap to his cheek. His mouth dropped open in shock as a dark handprint appeared on his cheek.

"You want whorish, you'll get whorish, even if I have to shag Draco fucking Malfoy in the Great Hall for everyone to bloody see!" I bit out harshly, spinning around and stomping through the doorway and into the hall.

"Ginny," Luna began, "I don't think—"

"Gods above, Luna, not you too!" I groaned, stopping in front of her. She leaned in, a very uncharacteristic smirk on her face.

"I was just going to say, save the shagging for the bedroom. Stick with snogging for now." I let out a sharp laugh at her comment, effectively diffused. It was a good thing she had stopped me; I was ready to commit murder.

"Ginevra Molly Weasley!" Ron's roar filled the hall, and instantly a scowl settled back into place. "Don't you even _dare _think about shagging Malfoy!" As he tore into the hall, Harry and Hermione on his heels at the head of a vast crowd, I snapped.

My eyes went directly to the center of Slytherin table, alighting on the two men that were my targets. They were surveying the action with bored eyes, their court of Slytherins all carrying that same indifference. It didn't take much to deliver another stinging slap to Ron's cheek, avoid Harry and Hermione's grasping hands, and stalk down to Slytherin table to stand before Malfoy and Zabini.

I was seared with their beauty, so unbelievably different yet similar in so many ways, for a short moment. Both had turned in their seats when I stopped before them, vaguely amused smirks in place. Malfoy had given up on his practice of gelling his amazingly luminescent blonde hair back, so it fell in soft, silky waves to his shoulders, his shorter strands of hair streaking messily across his face. Zabini, on the other hand, had his hair pulled back, black dreadlocks going towards the middle of his back and tied together in a ponytail.

Both had aristocratic faces, although Malfoy's was more delicate and refined while Zabini's portrayed the haughty regality of his mother's lineage. Zabini was marginally taller than Malfoy, with full, bee-stung lips that curved easily into a smirk while Malfoy's thin lips remained pressed together, refusing to show any amusement.

Cool grey eyes and coal black eyes, both with impossibly long lashes, met my boring brown ones in turn. Here, up close, I felt extraordinarily shabby and poor, compared to their expensive velvet robes and their holier-than-thou expressions. My hair seemed garish next to their sleek locks, and my skin seemed dirty, but all I had to do was glance at the spluttering form of my brother and my doubts were gone, replaced with a mutinous desire for vengeance.

"Are you gay?" I asked, up front and to the point. It wouldn't do to snog someone when it wouldn't mean anything to them. Malfoy quirked an eyebrow.

"Sorry. You must be mistaken. I am Draco Malfoy and my lover here is Blaise Zabini," he said, deliberately misunderstanding me. I gritted my teeth when the Slytherins chuckled and Malfoy smirked. _Easy, Ginny, _I soothed myself. _Maybe he just needs encouragement…_

Deciding that this was quickly going nowhere, I took one step forward, grabbed Malfoy by the hair, and yanked his lips up to meet mine in a violent smack.

For a moment, neither of us moved. I was stunned that I would even consider doing something so audacious, and I guess Malfoy was stunned period. Just when I was about to pull away, embarrassed, and rush off to my room to die in peace, a pair of deliciously warm hands settled on my hips and yanked me forward.

At the same time, Malfoy seemed to realize that he had a chance to get a free snog, and gladly took advantage of it, ravishing my mouth. He had pulled me onto his lap, and I quickly resituated myself so I was straddling his waist, skirt be damned, and moaning wantonly as his hands wandered and our tongues dueled, mimicking how we usually verbally attacked one another.

My mind was quickly turning to mush as my body focused on what I quickly dubbed to be the best snog of my life. My hands took on a life of their own, one of them remaining tangled in Malfoy's intensely soft hair while the other dipped lower to rake across his abdominal muscles, drawing a hiss from him as he bit down on my lip. I gasped, before getting back to probing his mouth's warm depths, and couldn't help the delightful shiver that swept my body when I felt Malfoy's manicured hands swipe my nipple.

I pulled back for barely an instant to gasp for breath when a huskily whispered, "My turn," came from behind me and I was pulled backwards to another pair of wickedly soft lips.

My eyes flew open in surprise. After all, I had only needed to snog _one _gorgeous Slytherin male to piss of my brother, not two. But…if Zabini also felt the need to snog me senseless, I certainly wasn't going to protest.

My brief moment of consciousness before I slipped back into the sinful sea of bliss that Malfoy and Zabini were drowning me in made me realize that Ron was shouting obscenities and a large number of the student body were whistling in appreciation. But I could hardly care less. Zabini's kiss was slower than Malfoy's, not as violently passionate but stirring my blood nonetheless.

One of his hands was tangled in my hair, while the other was on my back, supporting me. Malfoy's hands, alternatively, had slipped under my shirt, caressing every inch of skin that he could find. One of my hands had strayed up to Zabini's hair to grab a thick chunk of his dreadlocks, and my other hand was digging tightly into Malfoy's pale forearm, tight with suppressed tension.

Only once Malfoy had removed his hands and Zabini had given me one last kiss did I slowly become aware of the epic heart attack that McGonagall was having on my right. Resting my head against Zabini's shoulder, I didn't bother to pretend that I hadn't just been snogged, my eyes at half mast and a goofy grin crossing my face before I could stop it.

"What in Merlin's name were you three doing?!" McGonagall cried, face sickly green at the horror of a Gryffindor snogging _two _Slytherins at dinner in front of the whole school, one after the other.

"Promoting inter-house unity, Professor," I responded innocently, watching Draco smirk as several students laughed at the blasé way that I delivered the comment. McGonagall bristled in outrage, but a dry monotone stopped her rant ahead of time.

"Yes, thank you, Miss Weasley, we can all see that. And how exactly did this lead to Mr. Malfoy's _and _Mr. Zabini's tongues being down your throat?" Snape's oily voice asked, walking up beside McGonagall. I couldn't help but wonder if Snape was actually _amused _by this.

"Well you see, Professors, Ginevra here had something lodged in her mouth, and she couldn't get it out. We were only trying to help a fellow student in need," Malfoy's voice, honey-sweet and utterly convincing, came from the direction of above my thighs. I quickly composed my expression to that of an innocent one. It would utterly ruin our act if I burst out laughing.

"…with your tongues?!" an enraged McGonagall demanded.

"We like to be thorough, Professors," Zabini said dutifully, rumbling my head with his voice. I had to stomp down on the satisfied smile I wanted to show.

"Very well," Snape said, not looking entirely unamused and sending a sly glance at McGonagall. "Twenty points to Slytherin and one point to Gryffindor for ingenuity, quick thinking, and aiding a fellow student in need."

I was pretty sure my thoroughly snogged mouth dropped open. We were being awarded _points_? I had expected detentions! And evidently, McGonagall did too. I snickered as she spluttered in outrage.

"Severus!" she gasped in indignant tones. "You can't _award _them points after such an obscene public display of immense affection!" Now everyone's eyes were trained on Snape as he deliberated and I snickered quietly.

"You're right, Minerva. All three of you will serve detention tomorrow night at eight." McGonagall looked a bit better in knowing that we would serve detention. "Unless you'd like to be joining them tomorrow, I suggest that you get back to your meals," Snape said coldly to the rest of the gaping student body, his robes swishing out behind him as students scrambled out of his way.

"And you three!" McGonagall snapped, her beady eyes narrowing on us like a hawk's as she sniffed. "I suggest that you remove yourself from Mr. Malfoy's and Mr. Zabini's laps, Miss Weasley, before I give you more detentions with _me._" Duly chastised, I leaned forward, untangling my legs from Malfoy's waist as I moved to stand up. A hand on my hip stopped me, and I turned around, curious.

"You can stay," Zabini suggested. "The dessert's not that good tonight, so I'm pretty sure you'd work as an excellent substitute." A slow grin spread across my face as I settled myself more firmly at the Slytherin table.

"I'd like that," I said, glancing at him steamily from beneath lowered lashes.

"How often are you going to need us to piss off your wanker of a brother?" Malfoy asked casually as he "accidentally" dropped some custard on my arm and removed it with his lips and teeth, leaving a faint bruise. Examining my arm, I waited until I could breathe again before I replied.

"Oh, I don't know. He's not exactly the brightest thing. I would think that repetition might be the key to teaching him that I can shag whoever I want, whenever I want, and wherever I want."

I didn't miss the dark look that Malfoy and Zabini shared over my head.

"Well, Weasley, you've come to the right people," Malfoy said, trailing his arm down to my thigh and giving it a squeeze, stroking the soft skin of my inner thigh as I caught my breath.

"You see," Zabini continued, nonchalantly dropping an arm around my shoulders so he could grope my right breast through the disguising curtain of my hair, "Draco and I like to experiment."

"We've always wanted to fuck you," Malfoy said, his voice hitching as I dug my fingers into his thigh, dangerously close to the throbbing heat of his arousal. I could barely think straight—did they just admit to wanting me, too?—but their hands kept distraction me from holding onto any coherent thoughts.

"We're going to fuck every hour of the day, so you don't have to worry about waiting until dark," Zabini murmured into my ear, delicately licking the shell when he was done speaking and making me shiver with desire.

"And if you want to fuck right here, right now…well, that pretty much covers the most dangerous places that we could be caught," Malfoy purred in my other ear. I arched my back into Zabini's touch, teeth biting down on my lip to stop any moans from spilling out like potent drugs.

"Malfoy and Zabini, I swear to the gods that if you don't take me somewhere now that has a little bloody privacy, I will hex your balls off and _Crucio _you so much you're going to think you're my brother," I growled out dangerously, flexing my hands to prove the point. Twin hisses met my declaration, before Zabini chuckled. Malfoy stood, pulling me as he went along with Zabini.

"I sure do love it when you talk dirty," Zabini declared loudly as we headed towards the door. Luna caught my eye and winked, while Ron was being restrained at Gryffindor table. Not stopping our stride, I drew my wand and muttered my best Bat Bogey Hex, grinning in sadistic pleasure when I heard his yelp of pain as we slipped out the hall.

We barely made it to Zabini's Head Boy room before we fell upon each other like starving animals.

We didn't even make it to the bed, either. Malfoy's lips crashed against my own as I was pulled backwards against a hard chest, my shirt was unbuttoned somehow as a pair of lips began to attack my pulse point. It was impossible to decide what to do with my hands. I found myself wishing for more, one winding up to hold Zabini's head closer to mine and the other attempting to unbutton Malfoy's shirt.

I didn't really get that far with one hand, so a violent yank had expensive ivory buttons raining down on the floor as Malfoy pulled back to chuckle, raining soft kisses across my jaw.

"Impatient, Weasley?" he purred somewhere near my ear, a whimper escaping me as his tongue teasingly entered before returning to its path lower. Zabini had moved to the other side of my neck, sucking so hard I knew he was going to leave an enormous hickey.

"I was just thinking you were looking a bit hot," I hissed out, my hand descending on the bulge in his trousers and squeezing as I grinned triumphantly at his resulting gasp.

"No fair," he murmured in a strangled voice as Zabini snickered.

"Life isn't fair, mate," he said cheerfully, before tilting my head and capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

Gravity shifted, and for a moment, I was under the impression that I was tumbling through space, before I realized that I was only between Malfoy and Zabini on the floor. Behind me, Malfoy had slipped his hands down my knickers, and was biting down on the exposed flesh of my back. When had I rotated? I found myself not wanting or caring to hear the answer, and got back to nibbling on Zabini's collarbone, since he seemed to like it so much.

"You're overdressed," I couldn't help but say, grinning at how clichéd the saying was, before I slowly unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his exposed skin as each inch was revealed. Completely opposite of Malfoy's flawless ivory skin, Zabini glistened with a dark ebony fire. Silken flesh rose in pants to meet my lips as I feathered kisses and nips down until I was dipping my tongue into his navel, curling it around. He hissed, digging his hands into my hair and twisting tightly.

Nails raked down my back, stopping at the lace of my plain white bra before chuckling darkly.

"And now, Weasley dear, _you're _overdressed," Malfoy said gleefully into my back, before a ripping sound came from behind me, and suddenly, Zabini's mouth was latched onto my nipple. I gasped in pleasure and indignation.

"Dammit, Malfoy, that's the only bra I have that fits!" I snapped, fighting not to turn around and slap Malfoy for his troubles. Zabini pulled back with a deep rumble that could be considered to be a laugh.

"Weasley, don't worry. You're not going to _need _a bra with us." Although I wasn't all that interested in any clothes at the moment, I knew I would be later, but that worry slowly slipped from my mind as Malfoy began to tug off my skirt, leaving me only in my knickers.

Things began to speed up. My blood was turning to a fiery, boiling heat that roared through my veins, culminating at my core with a nearly volcanic temperature. Each touch was doubling my desire, feeling as if I was slowly being brought to an explosion of epic proportions, but it was still happening far too slow for my liking. I spun around in their shared grip again, so my back was to Zabini and my front was to Malfoy, who was poised above us on his arms.

I whimpered in frustrated need and desire, ripping at Malfoy's trousers. It had been far too long since someone was able to heat me up so fast, and I didn't want to waste it. Who knew when I would have the chance again? Because that was what it was; a chance; a chance to shag the two most untouchable boys at Hogwarts, no strings attached. If their snogging was anything to go by, I knew it was going to _well _worth it.

"Come on," I practically groaned with Malfoy's belt wouldn't budge. "Did you charm the bloody thing to stick to your ass?" Zabini laughed.

"Watch, Weasley," he said in my ear, and his darker-than-night arms snaked around my waist to unbuckle Malfoy's trousers with ease. I glared at Malfoy, who was smirking triumphantly.

"They _are _charmed, Weasley. They'll only open for me. Consider yourself blessed," Zabini commanded. I couldn't help but feel more than blessed as Zabini peeled down Malfoy's trousers. Eager to help, I pulled them down too, as Malfoy suddenly sprang free from his confinements and kicked his trousers out of the way. Even with the dim light, I couldn't help but marvel at his body, before I felt a squirming from behind me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Zabini, my voice catching when he squirmed right into a most delightful place.

"Taking off _my _pants, unless you were expecting to just shag Draco," he responded huffily, halting only to lightly kiss my shoulder when he was done. I shook my head vehemently. If I was going to have them, it was going to be both of them, not just one of them. It was wrong to break them up, so together it would be.

Someone's hand removed me of my knickers—I let out a small sound of protest at the desecration of yet another one of my under things, before it was swallowed by Malfoy capturing my lips. I jerked away, though, when that same hand teasingly entered my tight passage, making me clench around his digit and moan wildly at the exquisite pleasure.

"Oh gods…don't stop!" I commanded in a cracked voice, and the next thing I was truly aware of saying was their names, Draco and Blaise, twisting them so much until they formed into one word, one entity, on either side of me in a gasping, sweating pile of twisted limbs, rhythmic thrusts, groans and screams and pure bliss.

I woke up the next morning utterly ravenous, but not really wanting to move from the warm cocoon that I was ensconced in. Without opening my eyes, I dipped my tongue to taste the salty flesh beneath my head, mapping my way upwards until I met lips in a nice, languorous kiss that went on until I pulled back to breathe deeply. Opening my eyes, I found that it was Draco that I had just given an early morning snog.

"Hi, Malfoy," I said, for lack of anything else to say. I wasn't used to this morning after business. Usually there _wasn't _a morning after. He looked down at me with his molten silver eyes, laughter dancing in them.

"'Malfoy?' Last night it was Draco. What changed?" he teased, and I blushed, burying my head on the smooth skin of his chest as he dropped a hand to gently massage my shoulder. Eventually I realized that something was missing.

"Where's Blaise?"

"Getting some breakfast, and no doubt rubbing last night in your brother's face," Draco responded, more interested in examining my exposed breast than what he was actually saying.

"That's good. I'm starving, and Ron deserves to be sickened."

"And sickened he was. Merlin, you should have seen his face when I came down with my shirt unbuttoned!" Blaise said, coming through the door with a house elf following him. The elf left the tray on a table, and popped back to the kitchens.

"You sure know how to leave them," Draco said, smirking, indicating his bruised neck where I recognized my handiwork. I blushed, standing up and dragging the sheet with me so I was wrapped in it and sitting down at the table, beginning to eat.

"So what's on the schedule for today?" I asked, remembering that it was a Saturday and we had the whole day together. Blaise cocked his head, pondering, all the while watching a naked Draco hungrily as he hunted for clothes.

"I think I want to shag."

"And after that, another shag," Draco added from the vicinity of a huge closet.

"Funny thing. I want to shag too. But, since we all have different ideas of a shag, I guess we'll have to try them all," I commented slyly, devouring a strawberry in one bite but still managing to bring Blaise's eyes to my lips, despite my lack of manners.

"I like how you think," Draco said, coming to the table with a green robe on and silk boxers.

"And I think that detention will give us a chance for a bit more…private time," Blaise said thoughtfully, eyeing the slender column of Draco's throat. I chuckled evilly, reclining back in the chair, utterly finished with my breakfast and ready for another kind of food entirely.

"Well, better not keep the bed waiting. I think it's getting lonely."

* * *

A/N: Yeah, so...yeah. I was supposed to be working on Mesmerize, and I honestly _was _working on Mesmerize, but this weekend, I got distracted by this clichéd and overused idea, but I kind of liked it. Oh well. I had fun writing it. I'll get back to Mesmerize, I promise, but right now I'm doing the whole HSGQE thing, which is freakin' lame. Some guy barfed in my class today. :D

Anyway. Review and tell me if you liked it, or if it was so completely horrible that you'll never read something I write again. If you're in the former, have hope; this one, like Not Quite Elysium, also has the chance to be longer than a oneshot, though it'll remain that way for now.

Happy hunting!

Roma

P.S. THANK THE GREATEST MELISSAS IN THE WORLD: **mell8 **for the beta and **Hydra27 **for the awesome summary/title help!

P.P.S. That poll is still up! (Although I'm generally disregarding it for now :P)


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